To Work or Not To Work??

I'm back.  Last time I posted I was heading back to work.  I had taken off a year and a half to be with my son during his cancer treatments. He got the all clear in April 2012, he headed back to school in July 2012, so I headed back to work in October 2012. Basically the same job I was doing before I took time off, just for a different company, same pay as well.  Same corporate bull too!
It was only a couple of months before I started feeling guilty.  After all I almost lost my son, how the heck could I go back to work and let someone else get extra time with him. I basically beat myself up fighting the guilt of not being with my children.  Getting home in time to feed them dinner and put them to bed.  Our only quality time was story time before bed.  I got frustrated, angry, and started taking it out on everyone.  It was crazy.
I decided after everything my son and I had been through my place was home with my kids. So I quit.  I gave a week's notice and quit the week that school was getting out. I thought, I'll just spend a summer with the kids.  He was sick when I was home so we didn't get "fun" time.  One summer and I'll go back to work.
We had a great summer.  We went to the beach, theme parks, walks, slept in, we did whatever they wanted.  It was great!  Summer ended.  But I wasn't quite ready to go back to work yet.  I liked the idea of dropping off the kids in the morning without rushing to work and picking them up after school.  Then I wouldn't have any guilt about not being with them.  Well it's September now and I'm still not back at work.  Now I have a new guilt...finances!
My little nest egg ran out at the end of August.  I guess we did to much this summer.  I'm having to pull money out of the savings.  We aren't big spenders, but we have 6 kids.  An adult child that just started on his own and of course he needed a little bit of help.  2 kids in college.  3 little ones, although 1 is part time with us.  Kids are expensive, so is the house that fits them all.  My husband says don't worry, we can dip into the savings, but that's their college, our retirement.  He says don't worry, but I can't not worry.
I'm so torn.  I love being with my kids.  I love having time to myself, finally.  I have to admit though I am getting a little bored and not feeling any self worth.  All that creativity I was hoping to find seems to have skipped me by.  I don't feel I'm accomplished.  How often can you clean your house really?  Don't get me wrong.  I'm a super proud Mama, but after 14 years in corporate America it's a little different. I put myself through college while I raised 3 kids.  All that hard work to end up where I was before?
What do I do?  Go back to the grind?  Feel guilty for not spending the time with my kids. Seeing them for 1 hour in the morning and 2 hours at night? But not worry about finances. Or stay home and put that burden on my husband and slowly deplete our savings? College? Mortgage?
I wonder how many Mamas out there have the same battle that I'm having now? And...there's always an and.  I'm no spring chicken anymore, if I wait to long I won't be able to get that nice corporate job anymore.
What to do???

3 of my babies <3

Jered's 18th BDay

One of my son's turned 18 in Oct. this year and I have been bugging this kid for the last 13 years to let me throw him a Halloween themed birthday party, and he always said no. This year, his girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to have a Halloween themed birthday party...doesn't matter how I got it the point was I got to throw him a Halloween themed birthday party.  Now I had all these plans, and I was going to make so many decorations and goodies, but unfortunately I started back at work Oct 9th...and I couldn't hang.  Although I didn't do all that I wanted to, I think that he had a good time and his friends did too and that's all that matters!  But here is what I managed to accomplish. Most everything I saw on Pinterest so just check out my Pinterest Halloween board if you are interested in doing any of these.

I made little goodie bags shaped like pumpkins.  They were filled with chocolate candies. I didn't hand them out, we just left them on the table since these were big kids  :)

Mummy and eyeball cupcakes.

Finger shaped sugar cookies, don't worry that's not a real one in the middle, it's a prop.

Since I made cupcakes, I went with a small cake.  It's better with the bigger kids, they seem to be messier with cake than cupcakes...go figure.

I made candy holders out of glass candle sticks and glass votive holders I bought at the .$99 store.  I then made faces on my Cricut with vinyl.  Really easy, really fast.  I filled them with the appropriate color candies to represent Frankenstein, ghost, and pumpkin.

I made trophies for the costume contest.  This was a challenge and not as easy as it seemed on Pinterest, of course.

The whole little spread.

Dragon Ball Z Party

I'm back.  I started working and boy is it way harder than I remember.  I could have used a little more time off, but oh well!  Now I'm playing catch up with my blog that I wasn't very good at to begin with and I'm craving that creativity even more :(  Anyway!

It was my son's 9th birthday and he wanted a Dragon Ball Z party.  If anyone is familiar with it, and I doubt it, it's very hard to find anything Dragon Ball Z that doesn't cost you an arm or a leg.  At the time of his party I was still out of work, but already officially hired, so I was (and am) counting pennies.  I decided to make whatever I could.

I started with the goodie boxes.  I used my Cricut cartridge Sweet Tooth Boxes and made these cute little Chinese take out boxes. ( I know it's Japanese, but Origami was to hard!)

The baby blue was for the girls and the purple was for the boys.  My son specifically asked for Gohan, but I thought the girls needed another girl.  I put some fortune cookies, candy, Dragon Ball Z characters I found on ebay, and Dragon Balls in there (bouncy balls)

I tried to make some Dragon Ball cake pops, using dyed white chocolate, but they weren't exactly round. They tasted good and they all got eaten.  I had them as a centerpiece on each table and at the main table.

Next I made some candy sushi.  It's way harder than it looks.  I took the idea from this website, http://pinterest.com/pin/53480314296200758/, but I had to improvise on how I made them.  I ended up just rolling the rice krispie treats with gummy fish inside, cutting in half, then wrapping the fruit roll ups around them.  The kids loved them, a little too sweet for the adults though.

Finally was the cake.  I tried this method of course from Pinterest, http://pinterest.com/pin/53480314295742969/, and it worked wonderfully.  I would recommend it to anyone that is fondant challenged like me.

Here's the overall pic.  I was limited because it was at Pump It Up and they don't let you put anything on the walls or ceilings, so I kept it simple. My son and his friends had a great time and that's all that matters!